As I headed home for my winter break of lounging around purposelessly, I was devastated when I realized that the show that got me through summer break—Fox’s So You Think You Can Dance—would not be on the air and available to do the same this time around. My spirits were immediately lifted when I saw the commercials for  NBC’s Superstars of Dance.

To describe my excitement every time a preview commercial for this show flashed on the screen would be embarrassing. However, I find myself more disappointed than ever before. After watching the first hour of the two-hour series premiere last night, I could bear no more.

The show is organized like a mini-Olympics. Eight countries compete for the trophy awarded to the team that will be crowned the Superstar of Dance. The competition includes group, duet and solo performances from members of each country’s team, evaluated by a judge from each country. Judges are not permitted to score performances from their home country.

After a fabulous show-stopping opener from Ireland, I had high hopes. Again, these plummetted to the earth. The performances resemble more of a multicultural festival – each country performing in the “ethnic style” of their nation. The Irish stepped, the South Africans ‘gumbooted,’ the Americans break-danced, and the stereotypes abounded.

The quality of the dancing, with the exception of perhaps three numbers, does not merit a television showcase competition. Not to mention that half of the time you can’t even see the dancing due to the horrific cinematography focusing on the dancer’s faces rather than their bodies or their feet. Really, I’m glad I got to see those blond curls bouncing rather than those feet speedily stepping. Thank you.

As for the judging, what are their qualifications?

The judges sat at their podium, revealing numbers without commentary or reasoning. The judge for the United States seemed to have no clue what was going on – pouring nines and tens out like candy from a broken pinata - regardless of the actual quality or difficulty of the performance. He and the judge for Ireland seemed to be in cahoots, strangely agreeing on almost every score.

Less than enthusiastic host Michael Flately never took the time to explain who each judge is or what they have to do with the world of dance. He was too busy explaining step-by-step the simple scoreboard. He may be the Lord of the Dance but he is certainly not Lord of the Mic.

Boring hosts, unqualified judges and an uneven ratio of unimpressive dancers to fleeting talent render Superstars of Dance a bummer to every avid dance fan and waste of good couch potato time.